Way to go kid.
You've got this spell on her that she just can't seem to break.
She is so strong and in an instant, you could break her down.
She knows you won't but you could and that scares her.
She has realized she has made some mistakes
in the past and when you're up to your old tricks,
she's tempted to make them again.
But yet, coming back to you seems to be her favorite habit.
And like they say,

Old habits die hard.

&& i'm still trying to figure out how it could be..

She's been through more than the average girl can take.
If you ask her, she will say its all in the past,
And shes never looking back...
But you can tell it in her eyes,
that she never wants to deal with it again.

I want this.

It's a Long Trip Alone.

Do you ever just want someone to cuddle up with? I mean yeah, I might be a hopeless romantic, and maybe I would like things to be a little more easy when it comes to love, but I really don't think it's too much to ask. I like the feeling of someone next to me and it makes me feel better. Everyone's always saying that there's a person out there for everyone, and all that, but it's not like someone is just going to come up to me one day and say "Hey, I'm your true love. Let's get to know each other." I don't know... I just want someone who will always be there. Who won't fall into what other people think and what everyone else cares about. You probably won't even know them in ten years. Or five. Or even two. Think about it. You'll go off to college and do whatever makes YOU happy, not what the other people in your class think is fulfilling. So why do people care so much about everyone else's opinions of them?? I'll be the first to admit, I sometimes care way too much about it. But I love being different. Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked. What I mean is that I just want one person who will always love me and care about me, and be okay with just hanging out with me, and not have to always go to parties or do what everyone else is doing. Someone I can just cuddle up with and watch a movie or talk or just...whatever we want to do. Oh well. I guess he'll come along soon enough. I try not to get caught up in it, because there's so much more important things right now. But everyone's different, and even though I'm really independent and like to do things for myself and not rely on other people; everyone needs someone. I could never live my whole life without another person there with me..

I need something new.

I need a constant.

Sixteen Candles :]

I'm soo ready to turn 16!! Time has just gone by soo fast. It feels slow, but then all of a sudden 10 years has passed. I still remember sitting on the playground and talking about when we get into high school and how COOL it would be. And how it would be just the greatest thing EVER to be able to DRIVE. Geeeeeez. It's so crazy. I've been trying to really take time to appreciate everything I have, and my friends. They're seriously soo great...I don't know what I would do if I didn't have them there to make me laugh, brighten my day when nothing's going right, and just to be able to send pix messages in Spanish Class!! Haha. :)

With all of the GOOD things, I've also been pretty stressed about some things. I'm trying really hard to get good grades because I want to get off to a good start for college, but it's really hard for me. For so many different reasons. Sometimes I'm just slacking, but either way, it's stressful! Plus I REALLY need a job. I can't get my license unless I have a job, and it's hard to get a job before you turn 16. I want to get my license ON my birthday!!! I think it'll all work out, but it's just nerve-racking in the meantime.

I turn 16 in less than a month, and I'm going to Europe next Summer. : ) I have a lot to look forward to...

Here without you, baby..

I miss him;; all the time..I miss him.
It's not waves, it's constant. All the time.
-» Grey`s Anatomy

I really miss your hair in my face

[[and the way your innocense tastes]]

Change....isn't good for me.
I like a pattern of things.
So I know that I'm going to be okay.
Of course, I love having fun.
And being spontaneous and all that.
But when it comes to core things...
I like to feel stable and secure.

Anyways, I don't really know.
Things are changing again.
I'm not quite sure if I like it. ;/







.

I'm Done.

You know what?
I'm just mad now.
Simple as that.
I'm sick of it being like this.
I hate feeling this way.
I have no reason to feel guilty.
It's all your fault && you know it.
I don't have to deal with it.
I have for too long.
I refuse.
So many things, you don't even know.
Don't try to make it okay.
&& stop pretending.

Yes, it's hard, and sometimes life can be deceiving..

Today was a really bad day.
I'm not really sure how to describe it.
Two things in less than an hour.
It was horrible.



It made me think a lot....

I think I'm going to start writing a book. Basically an autobiograpy, but I'll add some things and change it a little bit. I've thought about it before, but never could really start writing a BOOK. Now, I think I'm going to just write it from a first-person perspective so it'll be like I'm talking. I'm really excited about it, but I know it'll take a really long time to finish. I procrastinate so much, it's unbelievable.

I want to go to sleep, but I know I can't.
The second my head hits the pillow,
More thoughts will come rushing thru my mind.
I really hate it.
Insomnia.
Maybe I'll just take some Nyquill.
That should do the trick. :]

I plan on having better posts soon.
After this week is over, I hope.
Everything should be a little better by then.
At least, it better be.
Or I really don't know what I'll do. :/



Trust is a fragile thing.
Once earned, it affords us tremendous
freedom.
But once trust is lost..
It can be impossible to recover.
Of course, the truth is-
We never really know who we can trust.
Those we're closest to can betray us
& total strangers can come to our rescue.
In the end, most people decide to trust
themselves.
It really is the simplest way
to keep from getting burned.

Hi there. :]

Caity's the name.
My name isn't very unique, but I am.

I'm not the type to complain about my life and it's circumstances, although I feel like I have the right to sometimes. I really hate it when people complain about things when other people have it so much worse. I am usually a very happy person, and if I'm in a bad mood, I always have a reason. My friends are everything to me, and I love to be with them as much as possible. I've been through a lot, but I think I'm getting over it now. :]

I like to act like a little kid, because I feel like I never really got to act like a kid as long as I should have. I love to color. And be immature. And laugh at stupid things. [I'm so easily amused <3]

There's a lot of people who have helped me through everything, and molded me into the girl I am today. It's easy to say I would be a totally different person if they hadn't been there. Some of them have seemingly faded into the past, but some of them I know will always be there. I don't think I could ever thank them enough.

Describing myself is quite possibly the hardest thing in the world for me to do. Not just because I'm so complicated, but because I'm so simple at the same time. I change so much it isn't even funny. I don't do good with letting go of things. Memories, people, relationships..everything.

I have a special box of memorabilia that I will keep forever until the day I know. No one will ever see what's inside of it. I guess you could consider it my secret box. I love it.


I'm really bad at ending these things....
I'll be writing every day though. :]